Everyone has goals, whether we know it or not. We have goals to save for the future or to travel, buy a home, a new car, or to purchase items we need and want to make our lives more enjoyable. And the majority of us want to start a family.

An important distinction between people who succeed at adoption is that they are very intentional in their steps and focused on their goal. Many prospective adoptive parents look and fantasize about adopting but do little to move past that point. While it is advisable to do research before moving on to adopt, there are many who don’t move any further to complete what they have started. Fear is often the culprit.

Successful adoptive parents know that the timing, planning, and dedication to completing their adoption goal can make its achievement much easier and smoother. As with any goal, there are basic steps that must be taken to attain the desired end result. Those who have gone before know it takes time and patience and following a concise plan to realize adoption success.

Here are 10 important steps toward a successful adoption:

1. Reachable goals are specific.
To reach your goal of adoption, your brain must know exactly, and precisely, what you are trying to accomplish. Never state your goal with vague terms like “some day I would like to adopt” or “in the future” or “maybe we will adopt”. Be specific! If you want to adopt a newborn within two years, then specify those exact details. If you want to find an adoption professional this month and start the process, be exact. Your brain can help you accomplish almost anything if it knows precisely what you are aiming for.

2. Reachable goals are simple.
Many people describe their adoption goals in ideals that are complex and may conflict with each other, i.e., we want a child from our surrounding area that looks like us and is born in the summer when school is out and of a birth mother with no expenses and . . . The list goes on and on. Any ONE of those things is a great goal, but the combination becomes overwhelming, difficult, and the brain gets confused. If you want to adopt a healthy infant, just say so! If you want to keep birth mother expenses down to under $1,000, say so! Keep your goals simple, clear, and focused.

3. Reachable goals are significant.
No one can muster the enthusiasm, hard work and courage to go forth and adopt if they don’t want to adopt 100%. A successful adoption goal is one you really, REALLY want! It’s something that will change your life, enhance your family, and fulfill you. It gets your energy flowing, gets you up in the morning, and keeps you going all day long, because it is important! Set adoption goals that you feel are worth achieving! If your spouse is not ready to adopt, the chances of success are reduced and it is not fair to bring a child into a family that is not completely devoted to adoption and raising this child.

4. Reachable goals are deliberate.
Successful adoptive parents know that the best goals accomplish many great benefits, all at one time. Adopting will almost certainly:

Take the time to describe how adoption will impact the many areas of your life. You’ll have more reasons to move forward toward your goal and more excitement when you do!

5. Reachable goals are measurable.
A goal without a measurable outcome is just a pipe dream. You can’t achieve a pound of “happiness” but you CAN become a parent. If you call adoption professionals every day for a year for information or attend weekly support meetings religiously but you don’t apply some of what you have learned, you will not get anywhere in your adoption. Someone has wisely observed that, “What gets measured, gets done.” Define your goals in terms of time, expense, and time willing to dedicate to the process. Then measure your progress until you achieve your desired outcome.

(This is part one. Part two of this article, the next five tips, will be available in the next issue of Adoption For Life.)

Mardie Caldwell COAP is the Founder of Lifetime Adoption Facilitation Center, the host of the Radio Talk Show Lets Talk Adoption, Author of AdoptingOnline.com, Your Internet Adoption Resource Guide, and numerous articles on adoption, parenting and financing. She is an adoptive mother, married with 4 children.

You can listen LIVE to the show at Lets Talk Adoption every Tuesday at 8am PT. You may also listen later that evening at 8pm PT to hear the rebroadcast. Please email your questions for the show via our website.

Pat Johnston and her husband Dave are the second generation of their family to extend it beyond infertility though the adoption of their three children. Some of Pat’s personal accomplishments include: Publisher at Perspectives Press, Author of: “Speaking Positively”: Using Respectful Adoption Language and “Adoption is a Family Affair”

Thank you, Ryan.

Heart of Adoption
Answers to your Adoption Questions

Kim writes:
“We have a loving home with 3 biological children, a small farm and lots of experience raising children. We would really like to share our family with another child but we don’t have the fee, or cash to put up for adoption. Is there any way to get around this?"

Well, Kim, there are many different answers to this one question. I’m going to give you some suggestions.

The first place to refer you to is your state or county to find out what programs they have available. One of the things you want to do is don’t take no for an answer when working with the department. They tend to be discouraging by telling you they only have special needs children and that the list is very long. Go get the paperwork, do it, and move forward.

There are adoption financing organizations where you can pay over a period of time. Research them online. There are some agencies that have sliding scale fees. And there are ways to fund your adoption creatively. One lady I know has made money from online auctions such as eBay. She has made enough money to pay for her entire legal fees through eBay. All in all, the best advice I can give you is to focus, research, don’t give up, and you too will have a lifetime adoption!

For more information on financing your adoption, including leads on grants, loans, and other programs, visit the Financing Page at Lifetime Adoption.

Great American Potato Salad
From Our Family to Yours

Ingredients
3/4 cup Mayonnaise
1 Tbsp. Pure Prepared Mustard
1/2 tsp. celery seed
1/2 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. pepper
4 cups cubed potatoes, cooked
2 hard-cooked eggs, chopped
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup sliced celery
1/3 cup dill pickle relish

MIX mayo, mustard and seasonings in large bowl.
ADD remaining ingredients; mix lightly and Cover.
Refrigerate several hours or until chilled.

Currently Seeking...

Lifetime Adoption is currently seeking Adoptive Families from California, Nevada, and other Western States. They are also seeking Hispanic Adoptive Families. If you are interested in becoming a Lifetime Family, or know someone who may be, please visit Lifetime Adoption online and fill out a Free Application.

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